


I know you didn't mean it

by PowerfulTenderness



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hints of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerfulTenderness/pseuds/PowerfulTenderness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky came home that morning to an empty apartment. Maybe she went for coffee? Maybe she went for a run? But then, why are half her clothes missing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know you didn't mean it

_“Just give me the night.” She said, taking a deep breath and wincing at the pain._

_“I-I,” He stutters, looking between her hunched over form and his own two hands._

_She just waves him off, “I know. Just...I need to be alone.”_

_“Doll,” He starts but she looks up at him with a glare. “Leave on good terms right now and come back in the morning. Go to Steve’s or Sam’s. Or a hotel. I don’t care. I just…” She stops and stands on shaky legs._

_She sends him another glare and he nods, “I’m so sorry,” he whispers but when she doesn’t respond, only stands there glaring at him, he leaves. He takes her suggestion and spends the night with Steve._

*

You only wait a minute after you boyfriend leaves to start running around the apartment. You grab two duffel bags from the closet and go to your room. Without even sparing thought to organization, you start opening draws, throwing underwear and socks in the first bag. At the same time you pull out your cell and dial up customer service. It takes a while for them to pick up, even longer for you to get in contact with a person, but you keep yourself busy by packing.

“Hi, yea, my name is F/N, and I’d like to cancel my service.” Now you’re throwing what jeans, clean or not, you can grab with one hand into the same bag.

“Yea I’m not satisfied with your service.” You repeat the question at the service representative, when she asks for clarification you groan in frustration. “Look, bitch, I don’t wanna be on this damn plan anymore! Just cancel my fucking phone!” More than a little uncalled for, especially at this time of the night, but you don’t have time to deal with stupid people.

The poor woman proceeds to tell you that you will be charged, and a bill sent to your current address, but you should expect service to be cut in the morning. “Good. Great. Thank you. Goodbye.” You say and hang up, sliding the phone in your back pocket.

Sweater. You should probably pack a sweater, and that jacket. And at least one pair of boots. You toss your phone charger, laptop it’s charger into the bag, at this point even the second bag is filled to capacity. You don’t give yourself the chance to think over what you’ve packed. You just grab your car keys, sling your purse on your shoulder with the two bags and leave, don’t even bother to lock the door.

As you pull out of the parking lot, having to keep your mind focused so you don’t start slamming down on the accelerator you pull out your phone again. You dial Tony Stark. He was a good friend. He was the only one to express concern when you started dating Bucky Barnes. The argument died after a while, but he brought it back up when you and Bucky decided to move in together. You should have listened to him.

“(Name)?” Tony answers surprisingly quickly, not even a hint of tiredness in his voice considering it’s almost two in the morning.

“Working on something again, Stark?” You try to sound casual, but your voice is still hoarse.

“What’s wrong?” Of course he recognized your panic.

…

“(Name)?” He asks again, this time panic rising in his voice.

You take a left parking your car at your bank. “He hurt me, Tony.” Is all you say before you get out and head over to the walk-up ATM.

“Are you OK? Where are you? Where is he? What happened?” Tony’s questions come in quick succession, too quick for you to answer.

“I, I guess I’m fine. Blacked out for a bit. It hurts if I talk too loud.”

You hear movement on the other end of the line, “Tony, I’m on my way. Can I—”

“Of course. Come right up when you get here.”

You nod and thank him before hanging up. You withdraw most of the money from your account. No doubt Tony will do all he can to help you, but you can’t trust the other Avengers. They love Bucky too much, they’d probably help him find you.

Glancing over your shoulder, the Winter Soldier haunting your mind, you rush back to your car and throw the cash in your purse. Mindful of your speed, you make your way to Tony’s New York penthouse. Thankfully he doesn’t live in the Avengers tower. He and Pepper wanted to be closer to Stark Industries headquarters and wanted some privacy.

With little traffic, you make it to the penthouse in record time. Tony and Pepper both, you guess he woke her up, greet you with panicked questions.

You drop your bags by the door, “I’m fine. Mostly,” you start, but Pepper gasps and lightly touches your chest, just beneath the bruise spreading from your neck to your collarbone.

“He’s gonna die for that!” Tony growled, clenching his fist.

Finally feeling safe, you sigh and allow yourself a moment to relax. You notice things you didn’t notice while you were busy packing. Your shirt is on inside out, your shoes aren’t tied, your hair is down and loose despite the heat of the summer. “Tony,” you say with exasperation, hoping he’d calm down.

Pepper takes your hand and leads you inside, insisting that you sit down. “Sorry about waking you up,” you tell her, noticing that she’s wearing nothing but one of Tony’s T-shirts.

“Don’t be.” She says, sitting down next to you. “You can stay here as long as you want.” She offers but you shake your head.

“About that,” You look at Tony who raises a brow at you, “I need to get away from here.”

*

Bucky came home that morning to an empty apartment.

“(Name)?” He called out, walking further into the apartment, a sense of panic overtaking him when she didn’t answer. He called out again, this time knocking on her door. Again no answer. Hesitantly he opens the door to her room, “Doll?” She wasn’t there...Maybe she went for coffee? Maybe she went for a run? But then, why are half her clothes missing?

He checks his room, the bathroom, the kitchen pantry even, each step he takes makes him move faster. She’s gone. Gone. After running through the apartment, he stops and stares at her room, discarded clothes littering the bed. She’s gone. He collapses to his knees. She’s gone and it’s his fault. 

Hours later, there is a knock at the door. He doesn’t answer, but he didn’t lock it behind him, and after a few minutes he hears footsteps approaching. He can tell it’s Steve.

“Buck?”

Steve rounds the corner and sees Bucky on his knees, staring into the empty bedroom. “She’s gone Steve.”

The blonde looks into the room, his words that maybe she’ll come back, dying on his lips. It’s clear that she packed up and left. He’s silent for a moment, “Maybe we can ask Tony where she would have gone. They’ve always been close.”

Bucky’s eyes narrow. He’d always been jealous of the relationship between (Name) and Tony. He knew it wasn’t romantic or sexual, but they were still close in a way he and she never were. But Steve’s right. Tony might have a clue as to where she went. He’s up on his feet in no time, “Let’s go.” Steve has to stop him from running to the car.

*

“Where is she?!” Bucky yells, rushing towards Tony, grabbing the shorter man by the collar of his shirt. Pepper screams in the background, but neither men pay her any attention.

Tony narrows his eyes, “You know, this anger is why she left you.” Tony replies nonchalantly.

Steve grapples his friend away from Tony, who fixes his clothing with a cough.

“Where is she?” Bucky repeats, less angry this time, but still desperate.

“Tony, please.” Steve adds, but the billionaire just shrugs.

“Look. Even if I knew where she was, and I’m not saying I do, I wouldn’t tell you. You didn’t see the condition she arrived in.” He looked squarely at Bucky, “You’re a danger to her. To everyone, really. I tried to warn her about you, but she didn’t listen back then. She’s finally got some sense and left you.”

Anger flashed in Bucky, he elbowed Steve and quickly got out of his grasp. Without thought he grabbed Tony again, throwing a right hook directly at his face. Without his Iron Man suit, Tony crumpled beneath the Winter Soldiers might, blood spraying forth from his mouth and nose. Pepper screamed again. The Soldier stalked towards Tony, who had flew back a few feet from the impact, but Steve tackled him.

The two wrestled for a moment, before Bucky froze. Her voice. (Name). Her voice stopped him. Pepper, who had started the video, now rushes to Tony’s side, but Bucky doesn’t pay any mind to them now that (Name) was talking to him. He walks over to the coffee table that the laptop sat on and fell to his knees, watching the video intently.

“Bucky...James.” Her voice, slightly popping over the sound of the laptop's built in microphone, steals his breath. Her eyes are red. Had she been crying? Her voice is hoarse and a guilty feeling sinks into the pit of his stomach; he knows he’s responsible for that.

She’s still for a moment then sighs and looks into the camera, determined. She leans forward and pulls down the neck of her shirt, revealing the darkening bruise on her neck. Vaguely he processes Steve’s surprised gasp and notes that neither Tony or Pepper hold the same surprise.

“I know you didn’t mean it. And I know you would never want to hurt me. But you did. I can, and do, forgive you for that. It’s not your fault. I know, knew, what those nightmares did to you.” You frown and bit your lip, hesitating for a moment. “I think we rushed into this too quickly. I don’t think you were ready for this.”

Bucky swallows thickly, afraid to hear what’s next. Of course you don’t notice his fear. You’re already gone. “I promised myself a long time ago that I wasn’t going to allow anyone else to hurt me. I know you didn’t mean it,” you repeat, a waver in your voice, “But I can’t stay. I’m sorry.”

The video pauses and the screen goes black.

_“She’s gone. And it’s my fault.”_ Is the last thing that runs through his mind before lets the Winter Soldier take over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, I sat down totally intending to get my next chapter out and this happened instead.


End file.
